Friday, January 22, 2010

Is God Calling???

I feel a shift....a change.....a movement....somewhere in my soul.

Lately, I have felt a rut. Here I sit.....a teacher without a job. I know being a mother is an important job. I also know raising a disabled child has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Still, my soul thirsts for more.

Why.....what can I do now? I know that God has called me to do more than I am doing now..........

I think I figured it out tonight......I need to go to Haiti. I need to make a difference and use the gifts that God has given me. I can teach....I can lead...I can help.

The times in my life that I have felt the most energized are when I have been actively engaged in helping more than ever I need to be a part of something bigger than myself. Don't we all feel that way......when teaching, assisting. or helping others.....don't you feel like a bigger part of something?

I don't know where this is going to lead but i will keep posting my journey. Needs are everywhere.....I just feel this is something God is calling me to do. The people of Haiti needed tremendous help before this happened. This need will go on for years after the media has long since left. I want to be there to help. Guess I better start working on my Creole!! :)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Enough Already....

Yuma is typically a city with no weather....... We vary between sunny and hot and sunny and warm. There isn't much else to our weather. Lately, I wish that that was the case. We have been flipping between windy and cold, and windy and rainy. I have had to arrange my schedule to get things done when we have a couple breaks in the wind and rain.

The other problem with the weather flips are that this crazy weather has sent my son into various emotional flips and behavior outbursts. You see, major shifts in barometric pressure can cause some children with Autism to have behavioral problems. I have been asking myself if he is actually my child this week.

This week, I have spent many hours trying to keep a containment field around him. It also doesn't help that hubby is still rehabbing from hip surgery, so he's no help. I was really feeling at my wit's end this evening. After I had cleaned up the destruction that was my house for the fifth time, I was about to kill him. I put him in the bath and he threw water everywhere and then I knew that someone was going to have to call a professional for me.........

He got dressed.....then we finished the night time ritual. You know, brush teeth, comb hair, and read bedtime stories. I was so thrilled that seven o'clock had finally rolled around.........the magical hour when the child goes to bed!

Then, he did something that made me regroup and release all the frustration that had been building up all week. When we said our prayers, he asked for God to help mommy. Mommy was tired and grumpy and needed help........and God, could you turn off the clouds. I like rain, but Yuma has enough now and I want to play outside........and lunch inside at school isn't any fun at all.....

Small children have this way of simplifying things. Clearing away all the complications and finding the exact way to solve the puzzle. His answer was that God could fix it..........pretty simple.........Darn, wish I would have thought of that!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Abundant Blessings

Today I got the opportunity to have coffee with a terrific friend and fellow mother of a child with autism. We laughed and talked about all the weird things our children do. It was such a release to spend a short time with a women who understands......a kindered spirit. I should have been doing two-thousand other things but chose not to. I chose to be in that moment with my friend. Away from reality for just one hour.......It was AMAZING, REFRESHING, and necessary.

Sometimes, I think we get so wrapped up in ourselves that all we see is the bad in our lives. It's easy to get stuck in a rut.....I know I have been in one as of late. Visiting with a friend and watching the suffering in Haiti have a way of forcing you to change your perspective.

I have been kind of nostalgic this week. When you turn on the news, it's shocking. How can you look at the destruction and human suffering and not be moved. I can't even imagine how the Haitian people must be I've been feeling darn blessed this week. I didn't ask for a disabled child but I have a house, car, family, and friends. I think sometimes we forget how good we have it. We have more than these poor people started with. Today, I just took some time to actually appreciate what I have.

Pray for those families and give what you can. Imagine loosing everything including your family......definitely changes your perspective. Over all, consider what you have in your life and thank God for it.