Finally Fair!!

Today is nuts. I am scrambling to help Kelsie get all her animals ready for Yuma County Fair, get the little man off to mom's for a sleepover, get to church and prayer partners by four, try to figure out why the email on computer wont work, and get to Del Mar tomorrow! It's official......I am overbooked and boy am I feeling it today.

Monday starts the insanity of our fair. I love it and hate it all at the same time! We have thirty some animals to get there and then I have to help work the barn the whole week. Kelsie shows cavies on Tuesday, Poultry on Wednesday and Rabbits on Thursday and Friday, with the auction on Saturday, and finally check out Sunday night. Whew, just writing it is exhausting me!!

Then, like the sucker I am, I have to be in Del Mar tomorrow........I think I need my head examined!!

Somehow, it will all work out. It always does. I just find that in the middle of the fray, it's hard to come up for air.

I am realizing this week how incredibly fast my daughter is growing up. Only two more fairs for her! It is my hopes this week to just enjoy being a 4-H mom and leader. Take time to enjoy the kids because that's what the fair is all about!

It has been amazing to see her transformation and growth through rabbits. She was so shy in the begining she was scared to death to even show. So many wonderful friends and mentors have changed her into the unique and special young lady she has become. Only two more fairs........where does the time go?

Wonder if my mother felt that way? Experiencing 4-H as an adult has been so rewarding and my hopes are that every child has a terrific experience. For ribbons are nice, but learning to keep it all together under pressure is the ultimate experience!!

Is God Calling???

I feel a shift....a change.....a movement....somewhere in my soul.

Lately, I have felt restless......grumpy.....invisable.....in a rut. Here I sit.....a teacher without a job. I know being a mother is an important job. I also know raising a disabled child has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Still, my soul thirsts for more.

Why.....what can I do now? I know that God has called me to do more than I am doing now..........

I think I figured it out tonight......I need to go to Haiti. I need to make a difference and use the gifts that God has given me. I can teach....I can lead...I can help.

The times in my life that I have felt the most energized are when I have been actively engaged in helping others......now more than ever I need to be a part of something bigger than myself. Don't we all feel that way......when teaching, assisting. or helping others.....don't you feel like a bigger part of something?

I don't know where this is going to lead but i will keep posting my journey. Needs are everywhere.....I just feel this is something God is calling me to do. The people of Haiti needed tremendous help before this happened. This need will go on for years after the media has long since left. I want to be there to help. Guess I better start working on my Creole!! :)

They Grow Up So Fast.....

I am truly happy that this day is over. It started at four this

morning after a terrible night of sleep. Sleep or no sleep, I had to get DJ to his doctor's appointment by 8:20AM for labs and IVIG. Intravenous Immunogammoglobulin is an IV drip that lasts four hours. We head up to Dr. Schneider's office every month to have the procedure done. I usually stay over and follow up with chelation and OT the following day. I had to make it a one day trip with husbands hip surgery, so I knew that it was going to be a LONG day. Phoenix is three hours from Yuma, so six hours of driving with four hours of doctor's appointment isn't something you look forward to.

Anyway, today was our once a month.....With the kids being out of school, I took Kelsie with me.

I loaded everyone into the car at five and headed East. Kelsie slept off and on and DJ doesn't sleep but he was fairly quiet on the way up. I just tried to stay awake.....

We got the IV started and I left Kelsie with DJ to go shopping at Whole Foods for his dietary needs. She had to help him for the hour I was gone by keeping him entertained and wheeling his IV down the hall to the bathroom when he needed to go. I could leave knowing that she was responsible for him.

We got through the doctor, shopping, and dropping off a rabbit to 4-H kid that wanted one of her Tans for the Maricopa County Fair. We got to Gila Bend and I let her take over driving. As she drove, I got to thinking about how blessed I am.

I looked over at the driver's seat and saw a young woman......not the kid I was used to seeing. It seems that the times you are the most exhausted that clarity sets in!

Kelsie takes on a tremendous amount of responsibility. I know that she is capable of taking care of her brother which is no easy feat! She manages a herd of fifty rabbits, and thirty cavies while still managing to make decent grades and participates in 4-H and FFA.

Here's the issue.....I spend more time riding her butt then I ever do telling her what an amazing person she is becoming. I did a better job of complementing my students at school than I do her. What will the cost to her self-esteem for my mistake be??

I made it a point to let her know how impressed I was with her driving skills today. I also made it a point to thank her for helping me with her brother. I may not get it right everyday but, today I made sure I did.

I am so blessed to have both of my children.......they are more than just a job, they are my gifts from God!

Bunnies Abound

My daughter shows rabbits and cavies (Guinea pigs). This will seem like a strange hobby for those of you who don't participate in this sort of thing. For us, it's almost like breathing.....once a month we drive off to a rabbit show. We load up the Turbo Van and off we go......

Rabbit shows are usually quite a few miles from here. Kelsie and I usually get up around 3:30 AM, and she loads up the bunnies and I take a shower. (we packed a lot more stuff the night before) Then, we load up and leave between 4 and 4:30am.

Rabbit shows are usually somewhat chaotic especially since Kelsie shows both rabbits and cavies. I spend my time getting her animals up and down off tables. I am the official "helper" and I take a back seat to the child.........I've learned to become very good with that role.

The thing about rabbit shows is that in so many ways it's not about actually having these little animals judged and the winning or losing. It's about the friendships you make, the life lessons you learn, the time spent with the daughter, the realization that the daughter is coming in to her own. I have watched her blossom over the last year into a beautiful young woman who is slowly building her confidence and getting ready to step out into the world.

We both have had the chance to grow so much closer. I guess there isn't much choice when your stuck in a car together for eight hours!! Still, Kelsie waited in line for her turn with Mom. First, it was my cancer, then her brother's diagnosis. She was robbed out of four years of my attention but not my love.

We both have learned and grown so much from raising rabbits. She has learned responsibility, hard work, and humility. I have learned to surrender...........

I am so grateful for this hobby and the opportunity it has given both Kelsie and I. I like to think that it's God's way of opening doors that were closed by hurt and the feeling of abandonment.

What things are your children interested in? (This applies to adult children also) When you listen to the spirit of your children's passions, it gives you an open invitation to walk into their world. I am so glad I was listening to my daughter's passions........because I wouldn't give up one single moment we have spent together.

Are you listening? Watch and observe.......then walk with them for adventures you'll treasure for a lifetime!

The Prodigal Daughter

Most folks that know me today would never believe what an independent and free spirit I was as teenager. I honestly don't know how my parents put up with me. I wasn't bad to the point of drinking and doing drugs.........I just had the ability to find myself in terrible situations because I didn't engage my brain before actually rushing into things.

For example, I don't know how many cars I crashed. I remember crashing my Mom's car, my Dad's truck, and even my own car in the span of less than three years. My mom joked that everytime I went out she had the urge to call the emergency room. I wonder if she was really joking?

I didn't make really terrific grades in High School either. It was my personal goal to see how much stuff I could get out of and still pass. School just wasn't interesting to me.......that's got to be painful to deal with for two high school teachers.

Still my parents stuck by me......they yelled a tremendous amount, but they stuck by me. I know my mother had to spend entire nights praying I would get it together.

The final straw was when I was a freshman in college. I was attending Arizona Western (kinda) and working full time. I told my mom that I was moving in with my boyfriends family because they "understood" me. We had some serious fights but in the end......she let me move. It isn't like she had much choice in the matter. However, she didn't let me leave before she took my house keys and told me to call if I wanted to visit. OUCH!!

About six months later......you guessed it....I came crawling back. I knew they were going to let me have it with both barrels. WRONG........my mother was so thrilled!! She hugged me and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner. It was almost like some kind of celebration. She even helped me unpack and helped me set up my room.

I thought of this story today because my devotional this morning was on the Prodigal Son. I wonder if my mother was thinking of that story the day I returned............maybe?

It's nice to know that our Lord will take us back unconditionally.........I know I don't deserve His grace but I am so thankful to have it! I am so grateful today that I had an earthly example to remind me of His unending love. As I tend my own children the rest of this week, I hope that I can be an earthly example much like my mother was for me. I'm sure with God's grace upon us..........we all can!

School Daze!

Beginnings....are new, exciting and extremely complicated if you have a child with special needs. You wouldn't think that there would be problems with a Kindergarten repeat, but inevitably there is.

It seems this year that there are too many special needs kids and not enough aide to go around. This has forced me to repeat Kindergarten again. The last two days I have spent helping out in my son's class. I have done this to relieve some of the pressure on his teacher and aide. I will have to continue on this course until I can have a meeting with the district personal to work out the kinks in his Individual Education Plan.

Not exactly what I had planned for........

Still, I have learned some interesting truths about life by hanging out with these "little" people. Things I think all adults should be reminded of every once and awhile.

1. When you got to go.....you got to go.
2. Recess is the most important subject and activity.
3. Sometimes the right color isn't found in nature.
4. Friends are the people sitting next to you.
5. Sitting and listening to stories is still fun.
6. Resting after lunch is a good idea and makes the afternoon go better.
7. Doing something for the first time is kinda scary.
8. There is nothing better than a brand new box of crayons.
9. Sharing is sometimes really hard, but it's nice to make your friends happy too.
10. Forgiveness isn't hard.....Just say your sorry and move on.

I guess you really do learn many of life's lessons in Kindergarten. We just have to go back and remember these lessons from long ago.......or hang out with Kinders!

Open the Door continued...

As I stated yesterday......I met Pam on one of my extended stays at the Ronald McDonald house.

Staying at the Ronald McDonald house is a blessing for many parents. It saves a tremendous amount of money and helps me afford the skyrocketing costs of DJ's care. It is however, an environment of people from all backgrounds and beliefs. Not being new to this experience, I usually kept to myself and focused on entertaining DJ to the best of my ability.

There was something tugging at my heart everytime I ran into this woman. Her child was disabled to the point of being frightening, and I didn't want to get involved. I had enough problems. I had already faced so much disappointment from my own "friends". People that I thought cared had disappered when DJ was diagniosed. I really didn't want to get hurt anymore.

Still, God kept knocking.......
..........glad I opened the door!

I was given the opportunity to learn about this special little girl and her mom over the course of the next few days.

Pam's daughter, Makenzie, choked on a Goldfish cracker at eighteen months old. She suffered an anoixic brain injury. In less than five minutes time, this walking, talking, neurotypical little girl would be forever changed. Still, my best friend is not bitter. She has hope, and faith that literally could move mountains.

I have had the privlidge to watch "Kenzie" come back to our world over the last two years. I have seen God's healing power transform her into a happy, giggly, irrestiable little girl. It has been amazing for me to see His mighty power provide resources, and specialized therapy for this family.

The biggest blessing for me has been our friendship. I have someone in my life that understands my hurt and pain. Pam knows the day in and day out work it takes to raise a diabled child. She is my biggest supporter and is quick to comfort and rescue me when I reach the breaking point. She convinces me that it is ok to step out of my comfort zone........... You see, she is responsible for me joining Facebook and starting a blog!!

I am so glad that I opened the door when I really didn't want to...........what is God asking you to do? If we listen and obey, He will reward us with amazing blessings.......we just have to open the door!

To learn more about Pam and Makenzie follow this link to her blog and website: http://www.makenziesmiracle.blogspot.com/

Open the Door

My best friend is Pam and she lives in Colorado. That is a long way from Yuma, Arizona. We have never lived in the same town or state for that matter yet, she is my VERY best friend. She has carried me through many dark days all via long distance. We are apart, but our spirits are forever intertwined because I answered the door when God knocked.

When tragedy strikes......God always opens doors.

I met this amazing woman two summers ago. We were all stuck at the Ronald McDonald House in Phoenix, Arizona during the blazing heat of June, July, and August. I was on one of my extended stays that would last seventy-eight days, and I was feeling rather deflated. I had DJ in Occupational Therapy three days a week and at his autism doctor the other two days. We had a ton of down time with not much to do except be hot.

One evening in early June, I went down to the dining room to eat our community meal. I walked in and saw a woman with a toddler sitting in a stroller. This child was crying obviously inconsolable. Her little body was pulled straight like she had a piece of plywood under her. I could see that the child was attached to a feeding pump. The scariest part was this beautiful little girl had the blankest stare on her face. There was no light in her eyes and it almost looked like her soul was taking a vacation.

All the while this haggard woman ate with a frantic look on her face. She shoveled the food in as quickly as she could. I could tell that she wasn't comfortable being in this public situation.

At this moment, all I could think was how glad I was that that wasn't my child. I was very grateful to only have autism that day......not the most Christian response. I left the dining room with this woman and child tearing at my soul all night.......I couldn't sleep. I could only think of the woman and her terribly disabled child. Why hadn't I said, "Hello"? What was wrong with me??

Again I repeat.......God knocks.......do you answer?

The next day, I had the chance to meet this woman. I met her because I took a chance.......I answered the door.

Who was the woman? You guessed it....Pam! Over the course of the next few weeks I got the chance to get to know this remarkable woman.........

Tomorrow, I let you know more of our amazing story.......