Happy New Year

Another year has ended.........

Sometimes that seems like a really awesome thing. A chance to start over.......

Truth is that tomorrow I will still have all the problems that I have today. My son will still be broken, my family will still be incredibly financially challenged, and I will still have the insane merry go round that is my life. Not to mention, I still have that Christmas tree to deal with and those darn outside lights!! 2010 really won't erase these things.

So then what is it that makes us feel renewed with the changing of the year.........

Promise! and Hope! The passing of a year brings us back to the hope of renewal. No matter how dire the circumstances, we revel and celebrate..........we dare to hope and dream again. This new year hasn't been jaded by our bad decisions, crummy circumstances, and inner turmoil. It lays beautifully in our minds.........like the forgotten special Christmas present ready to be opened.........

and we will open it!

We will walk into 2010 for time really pauses for no one.

It is my prayer for all to have a year of joy, prosperity, and love. I pray that we will all become more aware of our creator and His intentions for our lives. That we will be compassionate and loving toward each other and less consumed about ourselves. I pray that God will give special blessings to parents of Special Needs children and the world will one day discover the uniqueness of these amazing children. I finally pray for healing for our children......all children everywhere....... for it is children that truly understand hope and new beginnings.

Happy New Year dear friends! See you all in 2010!! :)

New Year's Resolutions

Why is it that every year about this time we think we need to reflect. It's not that I'm against reflection it's just that sometimes people spend too much time looking backwards and not enough time looking forward. This phenomenon is only worse when December 31st rolls around. I have to admit that I am guilty of indulging in this holiday tradition along with so many others.

A year flies by so rapidly........it seems like just yesterday 2009 dawned with all the promise of an unopened gift. I had so many hopes for my family and personal life. Things I was going to change, improve.........

Well, on December 30th, reality dawns! So many things I didn't accomplish! My children still aren't perfect and I am still not slim, and my husband is still cranky! What's a woman to do??

LET IT GO!!!

Tonight, I am going to make a choice to focus not on the things I didn't get right but on what I did get right! I am tired of punishing myself for all the things I flubbed. We could all be better, brighter, more considerate........

I am thankful I have such a forgiving God. His Son certainly covers up many blotches that cover most of my life! I am going to strive to be better, be more holy, be more Christ like! This is my resolution for the coming decade. However, this has been my resolution for the last forty years of my life. I will NEVER be perfect........but, with Christ, I can be better than I ever imagined myself to be!

Happy New Year to everyone! May God bless our country with abudance and compassion this year.

Shades of Grey

I consider myself rather low maintenance. In fact an old friend of mine once told me I reminded him of peasant women who had children in the fields and then packed them on their backs and kept right on working. I have always taken pride in the fact that I work really hard and complain very little. I don't need tons of beauty treatments to feel beautiful. Tonight, I had to challenge my thinking on my whole self concept.

Kelsie and I arrived in San Diego after a day of total chaos. We had cleaning, packing, cooking, organizing and loading before we could leave for ARBA National Convention in San Diego. Life has been like this pretty much for the last two months. This means that I have not had time to do much with my personal appearance. I was really looking forward to getting to our hotel tonight and having a much needed uninterrupted hair color treatment.

Now, I am not an amateur at coloring my hair. I started coloring when I was thirty after cancer treatment. When my hair came back in, it was really dark, coarse, and GREY. I was pretty salt and pepper at thirty and that just wasn't going to work for me! Hence, I started coloring.

Tonight, I colored with the same color I have been using for years. Left it on for the same amount of time......and then rinsed. No biggie, right? When it dried, I asked I daughter if it looked exceptionally blonde.....no grey. She stated, "Mom, your hair is as grey as a fifty year old." WHAT?? I totally freaked. Not just a little freak, total freak.

We ran to the nearest grocery store and bought a new box of hair color....Darker. I again repeated the process....praying and bargaining with God about total grey removal. The hair color worked, Thank God!

Now that the whole event is over, I have to admit that this is really trite. I cannot believe that I got so upset about grey hair that I had to run to the grocery store at eleven thirty at night.

I guess even I have learned that Mrs. Low Maintenance has a vain side. Guess we all do. There are things that we just don't want the world to see about ourselves. Now that the hair is fixed, I wonder what else I hide. What do we all hide?

People are complicated. I think patience is needed more along with tolerance for our harried and frustrated race of beings. I'm SO glad that my heavenly Father loves me warts and all. It makes approaching Him so much easier. I know He had to have a good chuckle over my behavior tonight! I know in retrospect, I did!

The Endless Summer

Things here in Yuma have been pretty frantic and crazy the last couple of months. There have been three rabbit shows out of town and the usual keeping up with DJ and his trips to Phoenix and endless food preparation. On top of that, there has been many subbing jobs, house cleaning, laundry and the twelve thousand things that keep a house running. It's all about to come to fruition with the culmination of the American Rabbit Breeders National Convention.

Kelsie and I are leaving on Tuesday to head over to San Diego to help set up for Convention. This is our first and I still can't imagine seeing thirteen thousand rabbits and cavies all housed in one place! Just the thought of this is really overwhelming......

Overwhelming too was the first two years of DJ's diagnosis. My sole focus was autism and how to best help my son. I spent endless hours doing research and other endless hours developing a treatment plan. Once I found Dr. Schneider and other therapies, I would spend weeks and months at the Ronald McDonald house in Phoenix getting DJ the treatment he needs. Time spent away from the rest of my family. This too was overwhelming......

So how did I end up imersed in my daughter's "Rabbit Habbit"? I fell in love with many of the people!

I don't actually raise and show cavies or rabbits, but I'm intricately involved in the hobby and community of breeders. This hobby has been my complete and total escape from the world of autism. Most breeders didn't even know I had a disabled son until I started my blog and jumped into Facebook. Through this hobby, I have met some of the most amazing people and rejoined the world. Her hobby has forced me to quit living in such isolation. Although most days I question my sanity (Kelsie's hobby is even more time consuming), I realize that my daughter's rabbits and cavies have brought me back into the world! :)

I am praying that I can pull my life together to get out of here on Tuesday. I just want to experience all of the Convention this year. I have been told that California Rabbit and Cavy Shows puts on the most phenomenal Convention ever. I cannot wait to be a part of it!

I feel the Endless Summer is a perfect theme in my life right now. The point being that life hits you with an endless amount of unforeseen problems and tragedy. I would like to think I am finding a balance in the insanity. Much like taking a break to reflect and walk down the beach on a warm Fall day. When you have an intense personality like mine, it's easy to miss these opportunities for balance. I continually thank God for all my breeder friends. They bring humor and joy to my very complicated life! I am truly blessed for my daughter's "rabbit habit" as it has brought me a needed relief from the endless needs of my very special son!

Open Mouth....Insert Foot

I did something today that I don't usually do.....I got into an email argument with someone I shouldn't have even bothered with. For some reason, I felt the need to justify myself to someone who really doesn't care about me, my family, or the truth. So, I felt the need to shoot off an email and tell this person "just how it is"!! DUMB!

This person decided to shoot back another email to let me know "how it was". This is where it gets tricky........

I sat down at my computer.....madder than a wet hen....and I got busy letting them know how they were still incompetent and ignorant! My beautiful daughter told me to basically get a grip.........and just STOP! I yelled some nasty comment back at her and proceeded to type. Then it happened........God stepped in! I deleted the email and removed the person from my contacts. I quit playing the game.

I LOVE the feeling of power you get when you know that you are right. You know, the feeling of superiority when you tell someone how they need to get it together. Here's the problem with that smugness.......it never lasts. Sooner or later you begin to feel stupid for having the argument in the first place. All I accomplished today was to give this person more ammunition to use on me. I really didn't accomplish making my point or changing anything about the relationship this person and I have. If anything, my very unchristian behavior made the situation more toxic.

Sometimes the best thing to do is just let go. I feel terrible for behaving in such a trivial manner. I just wanted to make a point......I did. It just wasn't a good one.

I'm glad my daughter set me straight. It shows me that I have at least gotten something right in raising her. God doesn't always work through force.........He sometimes reminds us that we have gotten off track through our children. At least she didn't lead by example today.......today she was my example!