It's 4-H Time!

According to the Weather Channel....Fall has arrived. I think that Yuma missed that forecast as our temperatures are still projected to be hovering around 108 degrees for the next week. That aside, everything else is starting to feel like Fall. School has been in session almost a month, and it's time to sign up for 4-H!!

For those of you who don't understand the 4-H organization, here's a brief overview. 4-H is a youth organization open to children from 9 to 19 years of age. It encompasses many projects with the ultimate goal of teaching youth leadership, responsibility, and citizenship.

4-H has been a part of my life since I was nine years old. I started in a Foods project and added more projects over the years. I attended the National 4-H Congress, Citizenship Washington Focus and learned that the world is so much bigger than Yuma. Through 4-H, I learned so many lessons that apply to my life today. No wonder my daughter is a member of 4-H too!

I have watched her learn how awesome it feels to win a competition, and how to be a good sport when she doesn't. With animal projects, you definitely learn responsibility and the inevitable facts of life and death. She has learned about politics and how sometimes it's not important what you know but who you know. All of these life skills she will use for the rest of her life.

She has also learned how to actually practice being a Christian through 4-H. She has learned to turn the other cheek when people say hurtful things and how to stand up for others when they have no voice. She always tithes her income from her animal projects and God has blessed her with awesome bunnies to boot. It is amazing the lessons she has learned in such a few years.

I'm not actually ready to start the chaos that is the 4-H year, but I am excited to see old friends again. I often am feel like I benefit more from Kelsie's hobbies than she does because of the awesome friends that I have made.

So here's to another 4-H year......craziness and all!

Needs Met....Any Questions?

I usually let my husband deal with the challenge of balancing the budget around here. My belief is that this is as daunting as balancing the U.S. budget most days. We seem to keep spending money like the government the only difference is......credit isn't extended to us regular folks anymore. DJ's expenses keep rising and our income doesn't........MAJOR bummer.

I haven't worried too much.....Joe's job is to worry about money, my job is to keep the rest of this insane asylum going. So far, this strategy has worked pretty well....until now.......

With Joe facing surgery, the very real need for income has permeated even my world. Lately, I have been contemplating whether Publisher's Clearing House might actually show up on my doorstep! Figuring this probably wasn't going to happen, I have decided to make a real conscious effort to help lower the Vielbig family deficit.

Hence.......Sub Fever!!

I haven't been able to get a "real" job, but God is providing through substitute jobs. I just started looking this week and I have already procured nine jobs. At this rate, I might get to the point where I could make a dent in our finances. Needs met......any questions?

God continues to move his way through my life. Painting murals where disasters once stood. When things seem the most dire, He opens more doors. Ever happen to you?? Miracles don't have to be huge flashes of light, smoke, and special effects. Don't answered prayers qualify too? I get miracles everyday......my husband, children, friends, and yes, even sub jobs. It isn't exactly what I wanted, but it is what I needed. Any questions? Nope......Thanks God!

Running the Race

Having a disabled child is not a sprint......it's a marathon. You have to realize that the finish line is a very LONG ways away. Possibly, a lifetime away.

In the beginning, I tried to run this marathon as a sprint. All I could think about was what did I need to do to beat Autism. It was a quest, a drive, an obsession. I spent hours, days, weeks on the computer researching. I attended conferences, and checked out TONS of books from research libraries. I then planned therapies, changed DJ's diet, went to many doctors, and spent countless hours driving to and from Phoenix.

I held this pace for two and a half years. It was certainly worth it as my son has recovered a tremendous amount.
But......we still have so far to go.

The difference is now I work at a bit slower pace. Instead of driving to Phoenix every week, or spending endless weeks there, I now go up once a month. I have taken on teaching DJ much of the therapy at home using my OT, PT, and Speech therapists as consultants. The work is still there is just slower and more deliberate. The gains aren't as obvious short term. We are looking for much longer term goals.....life skills that will help him function better in the real world.

For myself, I have learned to accept and cope. I work the programs that DJ wants to be involved in like AWANA and church preschool. This way, I can intercept for him when I need to. It's still unbelievably challenging and time consuming but I'm enjoying working with other children as well as my own son.

The major difference in my life today is my mindset. DJ and I have good days.....and bad days. Some days he is more "with it" than others. Either way, he's my son and I have learned to stop nit picking all his behavior. I have learned to let go. I will continue to do what I feel it takes to make DJ healthy and recover him but I will laugh, love, and relax a little along the way.

God has blessed my family with so many things.....I guess we can bare the burden because of the blessings. Autism has taught me that is the key to living.......finding joy in the journey. To find the joy sometimes you just have to let go the reigns........and just live.

Climbing Out of the Pit

I'm going to be gone for a couple of days so I won't post again until Monday or Tuesday. This is going to be the beginning of a series. I feel compelled to tell the story of how I learned to live with an unwelcome guest that came to live in my house. His name is Autism and he showed up to steal a beautiful little boy away from me. This will be the story of how I fought back......how I still fight today for my son and others just like him............

The last couple of days I seem to be reminiscing with other parents of "special" children. People who walk in my shoes everyday.......my friends! God may have allowed Autism to hit my house, but He gave me awesome friends to help carry me down the road.

Anyway, been reminiscing. Going down the long road that I started three years ago. Back to the really scary days.....the first days when the doctor blew up my whole world. I have been thinking of how it felt to hear the words.......your son has Autism. I remember crying in the office.......just staring at my sweet little boy. Waiting for time to pass, for the words to disappear.

I got home from Phoenix and started running. I DON'T RUN! I put my IPod on and started hoofing.....not going anywhere in particular......just running. Crying, and running just trying so hard to run away from my pain. We all know that you can't.

I let myself grieve for two weeks.......

Then, with the determination of a Pit Bull, I dug in. Nobody was going to tell me my boy was lost forever.....nobody! I spent HOURS on the computer and at the libraries. I didn't sleep or eat much. I just searched for answers and cried out to God. I cried enough to fill buckets and kept thinking of how God counted all my tears....how He cried with me. Still, I searched in desperation for someway to bring my son back.....to allow him to live in our world. It was truly the darkest moment of my life. Even darker than when I had cancer. Black.....Dark.........

I followed this path for about a month. Then, in His time......God began to open doors for me. I met people that pointed me in directions that ultimately led me to Dr. Cindy Schneider. Here was my lifeline. She is DJ's autism doctor and in many ways my friend. I had already put DJ on the "diet", and started supplements before I first met her so we were ready for the long haul........

The point of the story is that I fell in a deep pit. The pit of desperation and despair. Ever been there?? Think we all have. The pit is deep and seems insurmountable. Little rays begin to shine down on you down there in the pit.......rays from heaven. You hold on and reach for the light and stumble many times. Eventually, you crawl out one agonizing step at a time. Hand over hand....dirty, muddy, crying, screaming, fighting every step. Finally, you haul yourself out. You lay on the ground just grateful you made it.......you're totally exhausted. Then, the hard part starts. You start living all over again.

PerilousTimes

We have all been tested in this recession. My family has been especially hit hard. I quit working three years ago to take care of our son and instead of cutting back we incurred DJ's skyrocketing medical bills and have had to assume tremendous debt. We are even at a point where we aren't sure how to pay monthly bills. Scary times for folks that were once debt free and didn't buy anything until we could pay cash for it. My paycheck often went to weekends out of town, shopping trips, and my savings account. Thank God, Joe had the mindset to save all these years because it kept us debt free until the last year.

Still, through the hardship and pain, lessons have been learned.

I first learned how much I can live without. My car is pushing 120K and I pray that it holds together. Just two years ago, I pestered my husband almost into fits to buy me a new Chevy Tahoe. I am embarrassed to admit that I thought I couldn't live unless he bought me a forty thousand dollar car. I'm SO glad he told me no....the last thing we would ever need is a huge car payment now.

I buy my clothes in Sam's club and second hand stores. I honestly can't remember the last outfit I actually tried on! I don't even buy much to begin with.....mostly I shop for the kiddos. I've learned that being in style is not all it's cracked up to be. My daughter constantly jokes about me being a prime candidate for What Not to Wear!!

Everything, and I mean everything in our budget goes for necessities and DJ's doctor bills. It's so hard to be frivolous when your child needs so much.

Becoming financially strapped has taught me to be humble. I never thought a forty-two year old woman with a Master's Degree would be applying for retail jobs and substitute teaching. I'm not proud, I just need to take some of the burden off my husband. Unfortunately, I am trying to get back into teaching at the worst time......schools just got rid of teachers, and they surely don't want to hire me at a higher pay level than someone brand new. It hurts sometimes because I don't even get job interview calls. Talk about your confidence shaker!! Still, I press on and try to contribute the best I can. I know God will give me the job I'm supposed to have.

I have also had to ask my parents for help.....OUCH! It's easier for me than my very proud husband. I just thank God they have helped us as much as they have. It's not what I had envisioned, but at least God gave me such amazing parents.

I have learned most days to walk in faith. The blind, stumbling in the dark kind of faith. I believe that when you are pushed beyond your limits that is when you truly let go. I can't do this without God........ I just can't. We still have our house, and the necessities. I truly appreciate my friends and family. These are the things I value now on this earth........ These are the things I hold on to in these perilous times.